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As a parent to a young child, you probably find yourself getting overwhelmed with questions like “How do I respond to this situation?”, “Am I being too affectionate?”, “Am I being too detached?”, “Should I give my child whatever they are asking for?”, “Am I genuinely doing what is best for my child?”
Yes, it is one hundred percent true that your parenting style can have a massive impact on your child’s growth and development.
Your parenting style can also influence your child’s personality, attitude, thoughts, and beliefs which usually stays with them for the rest of their lives.
The most important thing to keep in mind here is that every child is unique. Similarly, every parent is also unique with their own distinctive personalities.
What this means is, there is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to parenting.
While your parenting style may vary from situation to situation, most parents follow a general pattern when it comes to parenting.
Back in the day, most parents raised their children purely based on instinct and in a way that mostly mimicked their own upbringing.
There were no fancy parenting concepts back then and the social pressure to raise the “perfect child” was definitely much lesser than it is today.
In the internet age, parents are bombarded with so much information when it comes to parenting that it can get embarrassingly difficult for a lot of us.
With a new parenting trend popping up every week, we understand precisely how easy it is to fall down the rabbit hole of self-doubt, confusion, and feelings of frustration.
We want you to take a deep breath because we have come up with this article to help you navigate through this daunting maze of information overload! Our goal is to help you learn more about the various parenting styles that exist which will help you raise happy and healthy kids.
AN INTRODUCTION TO THE CONCEPT OF PARENTING STYLES
The concept of parenting styles is not a new one. In fact, researchers started exploring how parenting styles affect an individual’s personality and mental health during the 1980s.
The earliest version of parenting styles which gained momentum was introduced by psychologist Diana Baumrind.
Maccoby and Martin later expanded on Baumrind’s version which ultimately gave us the 4 most widely accepted parenting styles.
These styles are largely based on two factors – control and warmth.
Let’s jump right in!
1) Authoritarian Parenting
Synonymous With: Strict, Controlling, Stern, Uncompromising.
This form of parenting places emphasis on extreme discipline and strict obedience.
Authoritarian parents are usually the ones who believe in harsh punishments, set rigid household rules, dish out plenty of orders, and are usually not a fan of showing their children any form of affection.
This “my way or the highway” attitude may work when your kids are very young but research indicates that it can be very detrimental to healthy growth and development.
According to us, kids raised in a household like this will be more prone to antisocial behaviors in adolescence and adulthood.
In fact, research indicates that parents who have this approach usually raise children who lack control over their emotions and suffer from low self-esteem.
We believe that this form of parenting is not ideal in the slightest and is a surefire way to raise kids who are aggressive, hostile, and difficult.
2) Authoritative Parenting
Synonymous With: Steady, Balanced, Understanding.
We are of the belief that this is the perfect style to raise healthy, successful, and responsible kids.
Authoritative parents know how to give their children enough freedom and at the same time set reasonable limits.
These parents always encourage children to share their opinions and believe in open communication and dialogue. Yet, they know where to draw the line.
Studies show that kids coming from such backgrounds grow up to become reasonable adults who know how to deal with their emotions and cope with difficult situations.
If you identify with this style, we would like to congratulate you as you have cracked the code to perfect parenting!
3) Permissive Parenting
Synonymous With: Liberal, Lenient, Non-Restrictive, Soft.
While this is not the worst kind of parenting style, it is most certainly not the best!
Parents who fall under this category are usually warm, extremely friendly, and nurturing but they do not believe in imposing any rules at all.
Permissive parents would rather let the child have their way if they insist on something instead of putting their foot down.
They usually avoid confronting the child unless the matter is extremely serious and demands confrontation.
We believe that kids who were raised like this will develop both positive and negative traits.
Research states that children raised like this grow up to be confident and “street-smart" individuals.
Evidence also suggests that these kids are more prone to not doing well academically and have more chances of developing health issues like obesity due to lack of discipline.
4) Uninvolved Parenting
Synonymous With – Neglectful, Disinterested, Absent.
Whatever style of parenting you choose to go with, we definitely hope it is not this one.
As the name suggests, these parents are not involved in their child’s lives.
They are not responsive, frequently fail to meet their child’s emotional needs, and there is barely any communication involved.
Sure, these parents may ensure that their child is well-fed and pay for their needs but they are emotionally absent.
Sometimes parents who fall into this category may be overwhelmed with their own busy lives and the neglect may not be deliberate but it still has a very severe long-term impact on the child’s development and mental health.
Kids raised by such parents lack self-confidence, display problematic behaviors, and often develop psychological and physical issues.
MODERN PARENTING STYLES.
With the boom in social media, parenting styles have also received a makeover!
There are various new parenting methods with interesting names that have emerged over recent years.
Most of these methods are loosely based on the premise provided by Baumrind. Few of these new parenting styles are gaining a lot of attention.
Due to the exposure that modern society offers, parents are quickly realizing the importance of being able to strike the right balance between control and freedom.
We believe that parents are also realizing the value of warmth and open communication in a parent-child relationship.
Let us take a look at some of the new parenting styles that you can adopt.
1) Dolphin Parenting.
Dolphin Parenting is a modern take on the authoritative parenting style defined above. The basic idea behind dolphin parenting is to increase the degree of freedom and autonomy offered to your child with each passing year.
The goal of a parent who adopts the dolphin method is to raise children who are well-adjusted, happy, and above all, healthy.
These parents are all about instilling proper values in their children and use a very collaborative and open approach.
This method encourages parents to let their children make mistakes because children usually learn through trial and error. Yet, it emphasizes the importance of offering guidance at the same time.
A well balanced and wholesome lifestyle is at the core of this method.
The dolphin method emerged in the year 2014 when a Harvard trained child psychiatrist spoke about this method in her book.
Dolphins are considered to be extremely smart and playful. They also enjoy social settings which is why this style has been named after dolphins.
Dolphin parents are flexible, rational, and always open to making the household environment a positive place that will nurture their kids and help them become motivated and self-reliant adults.
2) Love And Logic Parenting
The love and logic method also falls under the authoritative parenting style umbrella.
This is a very practical parenting style that focuses on building a loving and respectful parent-child relationship. The name love and logic literally speaks for itself.
The word love stands for giving your children unconditional love and providing them with an environment that is conducive to their growth.
The word logic in this method represents allowing children to voice out their opinions and learn from their mistakes. It also encourages parents to set rules wherever necessary.
There is no place for anger, punishments, and threats when it comes to this method. It states that every disagreement should be resolved using words, empathy, dialogue, and respect.
The love and logic parenting style believes that whenever your child makes a mistake, it is important to let them experience the consequences.
Shielding your child from consequences or yelling at them for their mistakes is not encouraged.
Kids who are raised by parents who adopt this approach grow up to be balanced, level-headed, and reasonable adults.
According to us, this is one of the best parenting methods that you can adopt to raise responsible adults.
3) Slow Parenting
This method is also known as simplicity parenting. The name of this method is pretty self-explanatory and in today’s high-speed lifestyle, adopting this approach may have its benefits.
Just like adults, kids today are living fast-paced lives at a very young age. Modern parents spend their lives trying to maintain the perfect balance between domestic duties and professional lives.
Inevitably, this means that your child is constantly running from pillar to post as well. This quick and fast-moving life is precisely what this parenting style targets.
Slow parenting literally emphasizes the importance of living a slow life where the ultimate goal is your child’s happiness and satisfaction.
Slow parenting involves a lot of family time and allowing children to explore the world at their own pace.
Slow parenting highlights the importance of spending time in nature and indulging in activities that will help children develop naturally.
This means, the use of electronics and technology is to be kept at a minimum.
We believe that children who are raised in this manner learn to hone their skills and natural talents. These kids are not afraid to explore even during adulthood and learn the value of spending time outdoors with friends and family.
4) Lighthouse Parenting
The term lighthouse parenting uses a lighthouse as a metaphor. Lighthouse parenting was an approach that was discovered by a pediatrician named Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg.
Lighthouse parenting is an approach that can also be used when it comes to parenting teenagers.
Lighthouse parents are like a guiding presence in their kids’ lives who provide unconditional love and protection but also let their children experience and cope with failure.
The emphasis here is on developing your child’s personality and character. Lighthouse parenting can be best described as a “watchful yet trusting” approach.
According to us, adopting this method is a definite way to raise kids who are extremely resilient and are ready to face challenges in life.
Dr. Ginsburg states that even though this parenting style believes in giving your kids unconditional love without any judgment, it is still important to set high standards for your children.
Setting the bar high and communicating your expectations to your kids will teach them to aim high and put in the required efforts needed to excel in life.
We believe that this method is ideal for parents who want to raise children who are self-aware, emotionally stable, and have a mature and likeable personality.
OUR FINAL VERDICT
In conclusion, we want all the parents reading this to know that whichever parenting style you choose for your kids, it is of paramount importance to make sure you strike the perfect balance between control and warmth.
When you offer your children appropriate levels of autonomy, respect, and a loving and positive environment, your kids will learn to accept and successfully tackle even the most intimidating situations in life.
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